Today's Conversation

Our Daughter on computer.
Her Father comes in.
"Can I use the computer for a second?"
"OK"
Husband sits down, daughter meekly fades to corner by couch. Stands, sort of leaning, observing, waiting politely.

She is my witness.

 Husband stares blankly at screen for several minutes.
"This thing won't load."
I say "Then refresh it."
"I am waiting for it to finish loading."
"Why? If it isn't loading I mean..."
"IT'S LOCKED UP."
"No it isn't, it's still...."
"Because it is doing all this crap down here" -points to transferring data indicating the loading of many ads, steadily rolling out .coms and stuff- "but it won't say 'DONE'."
"Well, then refresh it or hit 'Inbox' again..."
"I just need to see if I got a new email."
"Well, then, hit 'Inbox'-
"NOOO!!!"
"Then it will tell you if you got a message"
"NOOO!!!"
"Cuz it will tell you right away without having to finish loading-"
"No that's not the point. I have never had it do this before. I want to see it say 'Done'!"

"But that is dumb.."
I realize pursuing this is only aggravating me and decide I would rather go wash dishes.
Daughter and I make silent eye contact, eyebrows are raised. Heads are shaken, shoulders shrugged.

Meanwhile Husband sits and stares at screen.

Daughter observes with astonishment, or abashed disbelief, or of a mixture of such. I know in my heart this has to be a great show for her, since she has not been around us for 2 years.

After several more minutes, I decide, while washing dishes that I just have to say something.
I go back over to the table where Husband frowns at screen.
"So... Are ya just going to take up the computer waiting for something to-"
"THAT IS NOT THE POINT. This has never happened to me before."
"Well it happens to me plenty, it is just sketchy reception due to the 25 MPH winds outside today."
"Not like this!"
"Like WHAT? All you need to do is hit 'Inbox' and it tells you if you got a message, then you can move on..."
"IT'S ALL LOCKED UP!"
"It ISN'T! It's just-"

"Does it bother you that I want to see if I got email?"

I storm out, sit on porch to cool off, come back in and do some more dishes...
Whereas he says,
"Okay. Done."

the end